The Toast
by tchele
Summary: What was going through everyone's mind when Bud was making his toast in Adrift. ONESHOT


Title: The Toast  
Rating G? PG?  
Disclaimer: Not Mine, just a fan. The characters contained in this fanfic belong to DB, CBS, yadda, yadda, yadda.  
Spoilers: Yes! Boomerang I and II, Touch and Go, Adrift, the one with the engagement party at the Admirals.   
Author's Notes: This story comes out of a migraine headache, evil computer system at work and listening to Switchfoots songs Let That Be Enough and Amy's Song over and over(like 50 times.) I am an on again off again viewer of JAG from way back, but this is my first JAG fanfic. Let me know if there are any glaring errors.  
  
Mac's POV  
  
As I hear Bud's toast my thoughts drift to my last conversation with Harm. I was so upset about him not being at my rehearsal dinner that I didn't even wish him good luck on his quals. He was right though, if I needed him at my wedding so much maybe I was marrying the wrong person. Still though he had angered me, though it wasn't the comment that had irritated me. It was the way he looked when it said it, almost daring me to call it all off. It's almost like we were back on that ferry in Sydney again and I was baring my soul to him. Maybe I was wrong that night, if I hadn't pushed him then I wouldn't have felt so rejected the next day and I certainly wouldn't have been vulnerable the next day and accepted Mic's ring. Even if at the time it wasn't a commitment it seemed that way to Harm. Once that ring was on my finger it was over, he felt he was down for the count. I only took it out of spite, and anger part of me really wanted to hurt him. Back to Australia, so many things would be different if I hadn't pushed him. I would at the very least still have him in my life. That little piece of metal became a barrier between. Rather then making him angry and jealous it just made him withdraw from me further. I can still feel all the times since then when I could feel his eyes on me, and all the feelings he was attempting to convey with those eyes. I know I am guilty of the same thing, I wonder if he felt me staring at him. Then of course there was Kate Pike's visit, I can't believe how jealous I was of her, it didn't hit me until now why. She had, if even for a moment, what I wanted. Though I know from our talk on the ferry that the reason he never pursued me was because he was different with me. He didn't want a casual relationship with me. At the time I took that as a rejection, but after the party at the Admirals I know that can't be true. I can still feel his lips on mine, the desperation evident in that kiss. We finally gave into years of pent up emotion and it wound up being a goodbye. We have gotten way to good at goodbyes, but none of the others hurt as much as that one did. After it happened he kept wanting to talk and I kept putting him off, probably way I missed him saying he wouldn't be here tonight. I had managed to keep myself busy, and not thinking too much about Harm until Bud brought up his name. By doing so he opened a whole can of worms. Now our past is the only thing on my mind, I can only hope he makes it back in time for the wedding because I need to ask him some things point blank before I marry Mic.  
  
Ever since our conversation before Harm left I have had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad was going to happen. Almost like I had jinxed him. By not assuring him that we were all right would make him do something stupid.   
  
Harriet's POV  
  
What is Bud thinking, he is doing a toast for Mac and Mic, yet he is talking about Mac and Harm. His story is so touching though, how if it weren't for Mac and Harm he and I never would have met. How he thinks that Mac and Mic are destined to be together, I know that isn't what he is thinking. If that were true he would be talking about Mac and Mic, instead he is talking about a couple that destiny paired together that refuses to acknowledge their mutual attraction let alone their love. When I saw Mac in her wedding dress and I saw the look on her face I knew she was unhappy, unsure of herself almost regretting her decision. I thought about asking her about what she was thinking of, but I am pretty sure she was thinking of Harm. Those two have been through so much together I hate to see them lose each other because neither one will admit the truth. I can only hope Harm makes it back before the wedding to make things right between the two of them, because if he doesn't she will go ahead with this wedding and be miserable.   
  
Bud's POV  
  
Before I know what I am saying I am talking about Mac and Commander Rabb, where did that come from? I guess deep down in my heart I know that those two are meant for each other. I have seen the way they look at each other when they think no one else is around. I know something changed between them when we all came back from Sydney, like the rules had changed and suddenly the regarded each other very professionally, not even engaging in the playful banter they had become know for at JAG. Before they were a team, even if they were no longer partners, since then it was as if they only dealt with each other when absolutely necessary and even then it was forced. I have no clue what I have just said, I must have made up for mentioning Harm in the first sentence of my toast, everyone is smiling. Except the Admiral, he has his cell phone up to his ear and doesn't look happy. He saying that Commander Rabb was lost at sea and the jovial mood is broken, suddenly everyone is quiet.   



End file.
